First Steps

Exploring the world through caring thoughts, the freedoms of guilt free emotions, and looking at the world through the eyes of someone elses perspective seeking to enhance and set free your soul by opening your heart and mind


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Mt Adams

 

 

 

 

grandkids, Mt Adams trip 131

 

Reflections arent always what you see…..sometimes, when your looking you see what you ONLY choose to see. Everything has a form of beauty in it…..look past outward appearances, and find what draws you in. You may be surprised at what you find.


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Jewels on a necklace

Jewels on a necklace
cut differently, you and I
all attached one way or another on a strand,
in life just touching one another briefly,
as we stroll through our lives journeys individually.
– G.Parkhurst

Thought for the day…….
Where does brilliance come from?
The body, or mind?
Heart or soul?
In which direction does it flow?
Lastly, just how bright do you shine to others?

 

It has been some months now that I have unplugged, and for good reason. It has been a bumpy ride, and I have found myself doing more soul searching. These last few months have left me in more emotional anguish, jobless, and in pain then I care to share. However, it has taught me one thing, that being that we are ALL invaluable. Some of us have never tasted the feelings of self worthlessness, some have. In any case, I have to say that no matter who you are, what background you came from, there IS purpose. What that purpose is, Im not entirely sure. Thats what your own journey decides in life. That will be another day. To be honest, I wasnt sure just how many people I have touched, and often wondered, should I stop blogging or sharing all together?? With that said, I will continue to share my thoughts on life, abuse, and emotional baggage as I have done in the past. I will also gladly continue posting my pictures everytime I blog just to  keep you all in high spirits. If you choose not to read my posts Im ok with that…..however, you may find yourself one day thinking back on something that I’ve shared that may have touched you in one way or another…..at least, thats what Im aiming for! Im not looking to become famous, or rich….just to be honest, and share in life journeys what may help someone, somewhere along the line in how to be more loving, positive, and cope more productively instead of just being numb and self destructing or simply on auto pilot going through life feeling no purpose. Im here, always have been…your not alone…never will be. You are loved….and you will always have a friend in me.

I wish for you during this time of seasonal change, the harvesting of a new spirit. Inner sanctum and peace, a place in your soul that you may tap into to get comfortable within your skin, and reclaim you and your life. Health and prosperity, love, and a kindred heart. Live life everyday with no regrets and love entirely, never give up, and dont hold back. Explore your mind, spirit, and soul with all you have….learn to put yourself first.

Until next blogcast…..Be well my lovelies….be well!


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My Tulips & Me

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Are you a tulip blowing in the wind? 

Standing tall beside your friends.

Supporting others as they grow,

often times thinking they have no place to go.

Close together, roots planted deep,

sleeping side by side under the stars, counting sheep.

Telling tails underneath the moonlight,

singing songs of friendships delight.

Sharing in life and all its colors together they often say,

“birds of a feather”……

For in this garden of life I’ll be – 

next to my tulips friends and me,

growing until there’s life no more,

hoping at another chance next Spring,

to dance another dance and sing………

My Tulip Friends & Me!!!

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— G. Parkhurst

Photographs — G. Parkhurst

Taken @ Skagit Valley, Wa.


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Time for you Too

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“Can you tell me the time?” …..”Do you have the time?” …..”We gotta hurry we’re late!!”…..” I dont have the time for this!!”

” The doctor is running a little behind today.”………”Your behind the times.” ………”What time are we supposed to be there?”……….” “How much time do you have?”

All questions that seem to hit home to at least one us. Caught up in the daily grind that most of us dont take the “TIME”  to stop and relax for minute. Life has become a rush of things. Forgetting the important things, and it flies by without notice. We have become yet, inevitably addicted to a fast paced life style without giving it a second thought. Why is that do you suppose? We see it every day….dont deny it. I think that what hits home for me, is that the things that matter get so easily forgotten. The important things. We dont stop long enough to notice that smile from someone special. Or, long enough to give, or feel, and enjoy that much needed hug! To listen to the ever important day from a 5 yr old telling it through his or her eyes. Maybe to sing along to the child’s favorite song and tell them what a wonderful voice they have!  To tell your teenager for no reason that your proud of him or her!  To take  a moment and include a little note saying “I LOVE YOU!” in a loved ones lunch box?? Do you stop long enough to say to the person in your life that matters so much …that you ” Truly Love them?” Its not that most of us have stopped long enough to see how selfish we to have become.

Or, to particularly admit that we maybe dont care. Often, we turn the other cheek to others needs and sometimes even forget our own. The truth hurts doesnt it? I know for me it does! The age of technology is rapidly increasing and now you can almost look any where and see that even a homeless person may have a device (though maybe not his or hers). I have noticed that parents have been so engulfed into their Ipads or iphones that the needs or desires of the child or family often times gets prolonged or ignored. Now, we all at some point are guilty of this. Myself included.

Video games….they seem to be a top offender!!! Notably, I have witnessed their power and attention spans go out the window when one is in play or use! The roof could be caving in, and mass destruction going on outside….but low and behold to finish level 28 is a must and nothing can keep that person from it!!! Death be to those that interfere with the video gamers….just a warning!!! lol

Its hard for me to understand the video game concept. –sitting for countless hours on your ass to play a unrealistic game and fight villains. No judging here, I just dont understand it. Personally, I think its time wasted, when life is going on, and passing you by, minute by minute.Time.…that you can not get back. However, if you agree about the video games…..isnt phones or Ipads just about the same? Still on them….countless hours of searching, shopping, or internet porn?

My point being;

Its all time that we are loosing. Isnt time precious enough without adding into the mix of things these devices that run our lives??? I think that its great that we have the tools to enhance our minds. I am using a computer right now. However, its to help you and myself for realistic purposes and to heal and grow. Im not here, day after day for hours at a time…watching my ass grow! (although, technically it is…gotta do something about that!) Maybe I see things differently then others. Maybe I notice things that others dont see. Maybe its that others notice but “CHOOSE” not to openly admit they see it as well. I AM, and ALWAYS HAVE BEEN,the type of person that “says it how she sees it person! ”  We are getting so enveloped in the things that seem to make our lives easier but to what cost? Who’s the suffering ones here? Sure we may becoming a more advanced race but the child is the one thats not quite there yet.

Now dont get me wrong. Im not saying its ALLLLLLLL technology’s fault. No. What im trying to say is that there are already enough things in this world that lets us forget time and its essence without going and adding technology into the mix of things.  From a childs perspective (I was one once) you need that attention. You need someone to listen to you, to make you feel as though you are important! Not a tv, or video game for a babysitter. The outside world is growing and changing. our parks, and nature is at our doors. They to, are changing everyday. Its harder and harder to explore these things and one day at the rate things are happening these too might forever be lost to us. To our children.  becoming nothing more than a book with mere pictures or stories that we tell. For me, thats NOT what I want. Whens the last time that you took the “TIME” to explore with your child? Or, the last time you went for a drive with your lover? Even, the last time you packed enough food for a picnic, even  if it is only in the backyard? Built a tent out of sheets or blankets and camped out and spent a few hours with your family? Turned the tv off and said to the family…or friends…” Come on, lets go find something to do outside and explore…lets go on an adventure?” More importantly….whens the last time that you …took time for you???

From a victims point of view, time ceases to exists and in most cases seems to stop or slow to a crawl. Often times, we sought out the attention we so desperately needed but nobody seemed to have the time or took it to listen to us. If someone might have taken the time, its quite possible I may not be here now writing to you about my life and views. However, for victims its not all the same. Some victims are still stuck in time. Unable to let go and heal. To recover from their past time.Which brings me to remind you all and those dearly loved victims out there…….grasp time. Never let it go! Enjoy it, live it, heal, help others, move on, love it, and those that share in it with you! Embrace time,dont loose it or be lost to it!  We overlook time and take it for granted. Its precious. A hot commodity. Can change at any given moment. Take a moment…listen to the world around you. Do you hear the world hustling and bustling outside your door? How important is “TIME” to you? What do you make of it? You cant change it, you cant get it back. You can however, enjoy what you have left, and what time is to come to pass. Its a gift, an invaluable treasure. Use it wisely.

Its never promised.


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Time

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Time is of the essence;

but mainly made of dust.

Here one minute, gone the next;

and yet, seems to be a must.

Whether it be minutes, hours, or even days;

Time is up to you, it can be viewed many different ways.

It gets lost, or away, but to some never really matters much;

Time is of the essence,

Mainly not for all of us!!!

G. Parkhurst


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Lights, Camera, Action!!!!!

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If I were to show up at your door? Would you invite me in? Would you hesitate? Would you act like yourself when Im in your home? Or would you pretend that your life and everyone in it were “normal” with no problems?

Thats the question I find myself asking these days. It seems as though most of us go through our lives on “Auto Pilot”

 When someone asks you –   ” How are you today’?  Do you really think they care or want to know? I think not….but ….again, would you really tell them if they did?

Or, would you “act” like your life is just “peachy” and continue about your day not giving it another thought? Do people in fact ” REALLY”…..I mean “REALLY” care?  How many times, have you yourself been in a hurry, ordered that coffee or went into a store to purchase something and some one kindly asks….” What are you up to today?”  Would you honestly answer? Do you? Is it any of their business? Your in to much of a rush to care, and quite frankly, its taking your precious time and keeping you from what you wanna do!!!!           Which brings me to my next segment:

Let me paint a picture for you.

A young child comes to you, or someone you know and tells you that he/ she is being molested. Home life isnt great, mothers beating her, step brothers picking on her and beating her up, and  she’s terrified and alone. She has tried to get your attention but to no avail has it worked. She’s went to school counselors and told and you seem to be the last person she has the energy to try to tell.  What do you do?

Lets do this….- Police come. Their are knocking on your door.  You answer. They come in. They tell you all about the notice they got from the school and they are there to check things out.  Do you play “Happy Family”?

 Do you pretend as if nothings wrong or amiss. Or do you “tell the police about this poor girl…lost and alone? Do you help her and save her. Or, do you turn a blind eye? “

In society today were are often on “Auto Pilot” not getting involved in those things that dont concern us, but rather turning a blind eye instead of trying  to stand up for the things in which we believe to be right or wrong. We have let our voices fade and not be recognized, and allowed many innocent bystanders to suffer great consequences. We have turned into a society that doesnt take accountability for ourselves but rather, blames it on others and despite the fact it IS our fault in doing so, we leave the victims out in the world still helpless and alone and  without a voice to STILL remain victims. Dont pretend that your ok. Stop playing the blame game. Speak up!  If someones nosy, let them know its not their business. To many people are getting involved and theirs just to many captains at the wheel out there, and not enough deck hands. Society had transformed into our MOTHER telling us whats right or wrong…when to step in…when not…if its ok to spank or discipline our children and how…. whats in style, whats not, if your to fat, and what size you should be…..and lastly…sex in the media….(then  everyone wonders why sex is so prominent these days Jesus…take a good look around you!!!) but when it counts…victims are forgotten. Lost in the midst of things. The things that REALLY matter.  Dont turn your back on someone when it counts. Dont be afraid to stand up for that which you believe in. Its your GOD given right to fight for it. As a child, your rights dont exist, you rely on those of the people that you trust to provide them for you. You rely on their safety, love, and encouragement. Its easy to say ” Well, Im not getting involved in that….it’s not my problem.” But……isnt it? At that point you are just as much to blame. Dont pretend. Lifes not a movie in progress…your not an actor. Give the victims you see out there a fighting chance. Help them to have their voices heard. Be their guide to finding it if you cant do it for them….but dont pretend that they and their troubles dont exist.

Ask yourself………What if it were you?

Life has a funny way of dealing out Karma………..one day………….it could very well be.

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Its up to you to choose …. YOU HAVE # CHOICES AS A VICTIM
you can let it define you, and let it destroy you;
You can let it control you, and focus on it;
YOU can Learn from it, and let it STRENGTHEN YOU!!!!
No matter the choice, they all have one thing in common….YOU!!!!
Make YOUR CHOICE….DONT let “IT” Make YOU!!!!!!


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Renovate Your Mind Space

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Often times at the dinner table We would gather and eat. It would consist of jokes being made at my expense, put downs, some form of mockery, or ranking on me. I was harshly told to sit up straight by “him” and my elbows stabbed from time to time with a fork…also by “him”. My mother at some point or another would also join in the snickering and it was an isolating feeling to be at the table. It was me, my two older step-brothers (at the time) and my younger half brother,,”him”,and my mother. I didnt belong. I was deemed somehow the outcast, or unwanted one. Most often times, I wasnt hungry. I hated eating meat as a child…it served no purpose for me.

Most times I ate my dinner slowly letting my imagination whisk me away to far off places from my “imaginary” adoptive family! ( If only it were true) I more often times then not, would be the only one left eating at the table, while everyone else was gone. I was forced to eat my dinner, and couldnt leave my seat until it was finished. Sundays consisted of the same ol’ same ol’ spaghetti dinner. “He” liked it. My mother wasnt a very good cook. On occasion, pizza was a treat but it had sausage and pepperoni on it. I never ate it. Was always the same…..”he” got to choose. I would try to stick up for myself, to no prevail. It most always definitely end up in me loosing, and in tears running to my room…to throw myself on my bed, sobbing like a baby, or writing poems in my journal. I had been to others houses. Their families seemed like “normal” people. Though early on I had discovered that EVERY family had it’s own issues…none were perfect.

As a mother now, and young grandmother, I have realized that those screwed up rules and dinner time chaos didnt and wouldnt have to become part of my family dinner traditions. Over the years I struggled to make sense of it all and form my own family dinner meetings. Tried to bestow some “normalcy”  to our home. Never bringing up the way things were when I was young. I wanted so desperately to have that overall sense of glowing pride that my family was perfect and would gather happily at the table without disagreements and ridiculous arguments!! That was out of the question, and soon I realized it was all but a hopeless dream.

You see, i have come to understand that even though my childhood was horrible, and I carried with me those same fears and terrors. I had the tools I needed to make the changes in my own life and families life. Though not perfect, it wouldnt matter. We still had each other and though our times at the table were at some point stressful and silent…we stilled shared in open love, and honesty. There were no harsh feelings or mockery…no put downs or sense of ganging up on someone. I strive for holidays for it to be picture perfect…wanting to explore this new found sense of playing house and wanting to provide this “Brady Bunch” gathering for them. I call it “Family Tradition”. There is no harm in wanting things to go well…and for EVERYONE to get along. A day with out stress, or drama. Just a family gathering where everyone loved to love…and be loved.

Bottom line is: It is what it is! I cant push my beliefs on others. I can however, make sure that I lead by example, in the hopes that one day…all my four children and all my grandchildren see that I have struggled to provide them all with a sense of UNITY and FAMILY. No matter your past, and your family (although at times its to bad we cant choose who they are) your past doesnt define who you are and can be. You CAN change your past. You DONT have to become like your parents and/or family. You CAN start your own Traditions. The days of thinking that you are going to be like your parents are GONE!!!! The days of breaking the chain has come….let go of those times where you feel like your living in the past and start thinking of fresh new, exciting ways to create your own ideas and make them a reality!!!

RENOVATE YOUR MIND SPACE!!!!