First Steps

Exploring the world through caring thoughts, the freedoms of guilt free emotions, and looking at the world through the eyes of someone elses perspective seeking to enhance and set free your soul by opening your heart and mind


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Jewels on a necklace

Jewels on a necklace
cut differently, you and I
all attached one way or another on a strand,
in life just touching one another briefly,
as we stroll through our lives journeys individually.
– G.Parkhurst

Thought for the day…….
Where does brilliance come from?
The body, or mind?
Heart or soul?
In which direction does it flow?
Lastly, just how bright do you shine to others?

 

It has been some months now that I have unplugged, and for good reason. It has been a bumpy ride, and I have found myself doing more soul searching. These last few months have left me in more emotional anguish, jobless, and in pain then I care to share. However, it has taught me one thing, that being that we are ALL invaluable. Some of us have never tasted the feelings of self worthlessness, some have. In any case, I have to say that no matter who you are, what background you came from, there IS purpose. What that purpose is, Im not entirely sure. Thats what your own journey decides in life. That will be another day. To be honest, I wasnt sure just how many people I have touched, and often wondered, should I stop blogging or sharing all together?? With that said, I will continue to share my thoughts on life, abuse, and emotional baggage as I have done in the past. I will also gladly continue posting my pictures everytime I blog just to  keep you all in high spirits. If you choose not to read my posts Im ok with that…..however, you may find yourself one day thinking back on something that I’ve shared that may have touched you in one way or another…..at least, thats what Im aiming for! Im not looking to become famous, or rich….just to be honest, and share in life journeys what may help someone, somewhere along the line in how to be more loving, positive, and cope more productively instead of just being numb and self destructing or simply on auto pilot going through life feeling no purpose. Im here, always have been…your not alone…never will be. You are loved….and you will always have a friend in me.

I wish for you during this time of seasonal change, the harvesting of a new spirit. Inner sanctum and peace, a place in your soul that you may tap into to get comfortable within your skin, and reclaim you and your life. Health and prosperity, love, and a kindred heart. Live life everyday with no regrets and love entirely, never give up, and dont hold back. Explore your mind, spirit, and soul with all you have….learn to put yourself first.

Until next blogcast…..Be well my lovelies….be well!

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Clowns Cry Too

Clowns wear a face that”s painted intentionally on them so they 

appear to be happy or sad. what kind of mask are you wearing today?      

—- Anonymous

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Clowns Cry to.  I wonder why that is.  They are under paid and underrated I believe.  Its truly amazing how they can put on a show, forgetting their own lives, to  bring joy and happiness to others that need it. They are laughed at, mocked, and people snort and point at them behind their backs.  They are painted comedians.  What I find most interesting is that in almost all cases the clown or comedian has come from some form of tragedy.  Laughter heals they say.  I would like to meet the person responsible for this “so called” saying and ask him/her personally what makes him/her the expert on that.  So much pressure is put onto the person that is the abused or the victim.  We are expected to go through life pretending that nothing has happened or is wrong.  We are forced to set aside our own feelings, never dealing with them, and suck it up and move on.

“The mind is but a mystical dark circus;

we are nothing but a clown playing along to life’s theater.

Our faces delicately brimming with giggles;

painted in bright colors,

As we hide from the world…..

showing them only what they truly want to see.” 

— G. Parkhurst

There is much pain, sorrow, and sadness in most of us, as we trot along in life.  In most cases people are so oblivious they don”t even see.  In fact, is it that they don”t see…or wanna see?  Could they handle it?  Its a hard luck life,…….. no, a hard luck story.  No clown or comedian asks you to feel sorry for them. Just that you take time to understand them. To respect them and all the hurt that comes along with them.  Most often times, we are not seen or heard.  We dress to impress and put on our happy face, pushing aside those things that haunt us.

” I remain in the dark.

My face misrepresented by this circus of life, tormented by my emotions and memories.

My mind constantly working, never allowing silence or peace.

I fear the silence, it shreds my soul a bit at a time, never leaving me 

to stop entertaining the idea that I MUST continue to hide behind a mask.

For behind this mask of characters, nobody can see what truly pains me.

My heart is lost to the enchantment of each mask, intricately made, just for me, that I must put on and wear.

Im caught up in confusion, cleverly disguised as being a normal person.”

— G. Parkhurst

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I’ve heard people often remark that they are scared of clowns. Some petrified. Why you ask? Could it be that those very same people are in tune with their surroundings? Im not saying pedophile here….Im saying that possibly they see past the paint and all the make-up. Their intuitions prove that they see that there is so much more beneath the surface. What is it that they are hiding? What really is going on in their souls and minds? Could it be they see the pain, trauma, horror, abuse…or even evilness? Kinda scary to me.

The bottom line is that the next time you find yourself judging someone…look at them a little deeper with more understanding and compassion. Dont expect them to pick up…dust right off..move on…forget and forgive. It should be on our time, not yours. Try to get past the clown and see the person. Try to be understanding and get to know them. Listen to their stories and what they are really trying to tell you without speaking.

They are my heroes….and I there sister or brother. We are family. We share a commonality. We have a unwritten or unspoken bond,

I respect them and their jobs, they do it so well, and I like them, and so many others out there, who bring joy to others where there is sadness. Its a heavy burden to carry. However, when I put my mask on..its easier to focus my energy on your pain and sadness…then to face my inner demons and fears, i would rather forget about mine, to help you let go of yours! We touch peoples lives every day and forget about our own…casting it to the wayside. SO much so…..that we get lost in ourselves…some struggling to get out…others content in still wearing the masks…it no longer is just a mask…but has become and always will be part of who and what they truly are…….lost forever…what we wanna be…and wanna do…or ever wanna feel.

What mask are you wearing today?

I wish for you today a sense of inner peace and healing. Truly that you know that you are not alone and that no matter what mask you choose…..I love you for who you are, not which one you choose to wear. Dont fear the mask…embrace it and let it surround you and keep you. In it, you feel a sense of safety. Its ok. I wont and dont judge you. When you are ready, I and others like me will be here for you to help you, guide you, encourage you, and we will ALWAYS love and support you! Safe journeys today for your inner spirit…let your mind wander freely today, reflecting on which masks can be thrown out and which ones you still need.

Until next time my fellow clowns…..live to laugh another day, shed a tear , and always keep smiling!  ❤


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My Tulips & Me

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Are you a tulip blowing in the wind? 

Standing tall beside your friends.

Supporting others as they grow,

often times thinking they have no place to go.

Close together, roots planted deep,

sleeping side by side under the stars, counting sheep.

Telling tails underneath the moonlight,

singing songs of friendships delight.

Sharing in life and all its colors together they often say,

“birds of a feather”……

For in this garden of life I’ll be – 

next to my tulips friends and me,

growing until there’s life no more,

hoping at another chance next Spring,

to dance another dance and sing………

My Tulip Friends & Me!!!

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— G. Parkhurst

Photographs — G. Parkhurst

Taken @ Skagit Valley, Wa.


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Are you comfortable with your nest???

As I sit here…..my 40th birthday rapidly approaching….I wonder to myself, am I so comfortable with my nest? My nest, my humble abode, my home, my pad, house, flat, dwelling, my shack, crib, residence, casa, my castle, my criznieee…..I look around at my pretty things, memorable items that I or my husband have collected over time…..pictures of our families adventures or good times that we’ve shared……but then I just sit and listen…..and smell. Letting my surroundings grip hold of me and fill my senses. I drifted off and day dreamed of when I was young and had ambitions and hopes of being some where else in this part of my life. I cried. Not because of regrets…because I have no regrets, and am happy for the most part that I am who I am, but because I didnt do more in my life. I wanted to be somebody….really “BE” somebody, to make a difference!  I wouldnt be me, if not for the past that I had. Yes, it was bad, traumatic, and horrible even, but in the end…it made me into me and now I can help others. My cousin once wrote, “you cant be a survivor without being a victim.” Great quote….its true…I AM  survivor…..and looking back…..I wouldnt have it any other way! I have had to learn to forgive myself, love myself….and start healing. Most of all….I have had to learn to “LIVE” my life…and start by doing it for me and nobody else. “Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.

random pics March 2014 091   I took this picture while out a lovely Sunday…..the breeze was warm for a Spring day. Bees were out trying to awaken their lazy Winter slumber. There was people out, as if awakened from their zombie like slumber with coffee and mocha’s in hand. Children were  hard at play running and screaming, frolicking about, while their parents frantically chased after them…wishing they decided to stay home, others simply  smiled relishing in the occasion.  There was dogs on leashes, and strollers…..couples hand in hand in loving admiration. The air smelled of fresh cut grass and moist dampened earth. The sky was a array of tropical blue colors that scattered across the sky filling it with a sense of crisp clean freshness and adventure. It was a good day….a good day to be out and enjoy the outdoors. Across from where I was walking I had noticed there was a solemness and unique sense of quiet. I approached this building…uneasy and unsure of what was around the corner. I had felt a overwhelming sadness wash over me. I came to a door and I slowly stood and stared. I found myself looking blankly at a group of people that had gathered for what seemed to be some sort of service. The look on their faces seemed to define their feelings and they didnt try to hide it. Were they celebrating…or mourning?  The wheels turned in my mind. Oh how fast life can quickly be taken……often, and to frequently much to quickly for us to fully enjoy the loved ones we loose. I bowed my head and looked directly at some of them as if to say with my eyes that I express my condolences…and am sorry for their loss and pain. Words at these horrific points in life offer little to no sympathy or encouragement…. and often not enough can be said to comfort the suffering ones. I walked off…..a little embarrassed, and miffed at myself for stopping in the first place…..no matter how brief. As I walked away, I began to think about life….and the harsh realities that none of us are to prepared. If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.

random pics March 2014 090

1nest

noun \ˈnest\

: the place where a bird lays its eggs and takes care of its young : a place where an animal or insect lives and usually lays eggs or takes care of its young

: a home where people live

Full Definition of NEST

a :  a bed or receptacle prepared by an animal and especially a bird for its eggs and young b :  a place or specially modified structure serving as an abode of animals and especially of their immature stages <an ants’ nest> c :  a receptacle resembling a bird’s nest
a :  a place of rest, retreat, or lodging :  home <grown children who have left the nest> b :  denhangout
:  the occupants or frequenters of a nest
a :  a group of similar things <a nest of giant mountains — Helen MacInnes> b :  hotbed 2 <a nest of rebellion>
:  a group of objects made to fit close together or one within another
:  an emplaced group of weapons

Examples of NEST

  1. The bird built a nest out of small twigs.
  2. If you look closely, you can see a nest in that tree.
  3. They lived in a cozy little nest in the suburbs.
random pics March 2014 087
Are you comfortable with the way things are? Have you given your life much thought? Are you satisfied with where you are? DO you want more out of life? Have you told those that you love …just how much you love them? Did you get closure from  old wounds? Have you taken time to heal? Or forgiven those that needed it?
All questions that we go through life asking…..Are we ever fully prepared to loose someone? I found that  I asked these questions over and over to myself. There is much to life…..we take for granted. Its to short. Never promised. At any given moment can be taken way.
Every man dies. Not every man really lives.

William Wallace -Movie BraveHeart

life

noun \ˈlīf\

: the ability to grow, change, etc., that separates plants and animals from things like water or rocks : the period of time when a person is alive : the experience of being alive
plural lives 
Full Definition of LIFE
a :  the quality that distinguishes a vital and functional being from a dead body b :  a principle or force that is considered to underlie the distinctive quality of animate beings c :  an organismic state characterized by capacity for metabolism, growth, reaction to stimuli, and reproduction
a :  the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual b :  one or more aspects of the process of living <sex life of the frog>
:  biography 1
:  spiritual existence transcending physical death
a :  the period from birth to death b :  a specific phase of earthly existence <adult life> c :  the period from an event until death <a judge appointed for life> d :  a sentence of imprisonment for the remainder of a convict’s life
:  a way or manner of living
:  a vital or living being; specifically :  person <many liveswere lost in the disaster>
:  an animating and shaping force or principle
:  spiritanimation <saw no life in her dancing>
:  the form or pattern of something existing in reality <painted from life>
:  the period of duration, usefulness, or popularity of something <the expected life of the batteries>
:  the period of existence (as of a subatomic particle) — compare half-life
:  a property (as resilience or elasticity) of an inanimate substance or object resembling the animate quality of a living being
:  living beings (as of a particular kind or environment) <forestlife>
a :  human activities b :  animate activity and movement <stirrings of life> c :  the activities of a given sphere, area, or time <the political life of the country>
:  one providing interest and vigor <life of the party>
:  an opportunity for continued viability <gave the patient a new life>
:  something resembling animate life <a grant saved the project’s life>

Examples of LIFE

  1. He believes that God gives life to all creatures.
  2. She was happy and healthy for most of her life.
  3. The people in her family tend to have long lives.
  4. I’ve known her all my life.
  5. He is nearing the end of his life.
  6. People can expect to change jobs several times in their life.
  7. They’ve been waiting their whole life for an opportunity like this.
  8. What do you really want out of life?
  9. All this paperwork has made life much more difficult.
  10. The details of everyday life can be fascinating.

 Can you safely say that if taken away…or asked…..are you ready for whats next….are you happy with the life you lived?

Peace & Love to you on your journey in search for Love, Balance, & Harmony…..may you soul be filled with the simple pleasures in life…and never…ever taken for granted! ❤