First Steps

Exploring the world through caring thoughts, the freedoms of guilt free emotions, and looking at the world through the eyes of someone elses perspective seeking to enhance and set free your soul by opening your heart and mind


Leave a comment

Mt Adams

 

 

 

 

grandkids, Mt Adams trip 131

 

Reflections arent always what you see…..sometimes, when your looking you see what you ONLY choose to see. Everything has a form of beauty in it…..look past outward appearances, and find what draws you in. You may be surprised at what you find.

Advertisements


Leave a comment

My Tulips & Me

Image

Are you a tulip blowing in the wind? 

Standing tall beside your friends.

Supporting others as they grow,

often times thinking they have no place to go.

Close together, roots planted deep,

sleeping side by side under the stars, counting sheep.

Telling tails underneath the moonlight,

singing songs of friendships delight.

Sharing in life and all its colors together they often say,

“birds of a feather”……

For in this garden of life I’ll be – 

next to my tulips friends and me,

growing until there’s life no more,

hoping at another chance next Spring,

to dance another dance and sing………

My Tulip Friends & Me!!!

Image

— G. Parkhurst

Photographs — G. Parkhurst

Taken @ Skagit Valley, Wa.


3 Comments

Silence On A Moutaintop

Image

No one can hear you scream

high up on a mountain top

Left alone for the wind to swiftly

carry your worries and thoughts off

It takes your breathe away with

the sounds of birds and the breeze

blowing freely swaying through the trees

The sun kissing your skin

melting into it as it comes so alive with warmth

giving generosity and showering me with its natural powers and charm

Staring straight into the heart and soul

of its timeless beauty

and surrounded by its drawing forces through my minds eye

It sweeps me away, cleansing my inner fears taking with it my inhibitions

making me feel things I have buried so deep

I become enveloped, entranced by its wondrous nature

grounded by its strength

All time is forgotten and lost becoming non- existent

I become one and am reminded just how

peaceful and splendid life can be

for up on a mountain top……

Nobody can hear or see me!

— G. Parkhurst

Photo — G. Parkhurst

Taken Leavenworth   March 2014


10 Comments

SURVIVAL

 

 

 

 

” Survival is not so much about the body, but rather it is about the triumph of the human spirit!”

Image

Its important for me to say to you that this next brief short story doesn’t in any way reflect on my beliefs. I’m not associated with any racist group, and am not racist myself. The story I’m telling here is at it happened in the words that were said. It not intended to mislead you into thinking I’m a racist bigot or offend or cast ill will towards any other race. This is my story, and how I witnessed it. 

 

“He” was a racist bigot, always had been. Saying things to me like” man, you got them big nigger lips dont ya?” or “God Damn your ugly!” “I hope your not hangin around those nigger kids.” ” You know Im not taking you to the dance, especially if your going with any of those nigger kids!” “why dont you come over here and suck my dick with those nigger lips of yours?”

Ok, thats about all I can write. Makes me sick and I wanna vomit!

I had a few best friends in my school years…some WERE black. I had to endure comments and actions like that my whole life…and to this day as far as I know “he” is still like that. “He” obviously was narrowed minded and “his” views and beliefs didn’t rub off on me. In fact, spite “him”, I befriended many more people like the ones I had growing up. I didn’t see anything wrong with it. I guess I didn’t see colors like “he” did. Guess I was color blind!  I had no clue what the issue was. How immoral and illogical was “he” for not even knowing that as a Italian man, “his” nationality originated from Sicily, which if you do the research people were black. I loved telling “him” that! Boy, did “he” get pissed off when I told “him” that the very people “he” didn’t like was in “his” blood and that it was “his” ancestors! Hilarious!!! Screw the bastard!! Funny, my mother didn’t seem to mind. In fact, the same sex toys “he” chased me around with and tried to scare me with were black! Did that mean “he” was using a “black” toy on my mother and yet, “he” was prejudice? Ironic? Yes. I think so! It was this type of behavior and role model that I had in my home growing up until I left at the ripe age of about 12 or 13. I decided that whatever fate had in store for me on the outside world was a much better chance than sticking around this “HELL HOLE””” called home!  I would just have to take my chances! Abusive situations, mind fucking, and emotional roller coasters…ups, and downs…I couldn’t keep up with it! I knew it was up to me to survive. Survive I did! I had gotten this far on my own….being out in the harsh environment in the middle of Winter with no clothes or coat….well, like I said, I’d would sooner take my chances then to stay another night at that Wack house, rotting from the inside out! I hated the feeling that I didn’t belong and was invisible until someone wanted something from me! I didnt have much incentive in that part of my life. I was alone, and depressed. I had few friends…I mean REAL friends. 

Image

From the beginning of time man and animal alike have been born with animal like instincts. They have been genetically bred into this machine…..to fight to stay alive…..this animal like instinct we call “SURVIVAL”

sur·viv·al

 noun, often attributive \sər-ˈvī-vəl\

: the state or fact of continuing to live or exist especially in spite of difficult conditions

: something from an earlier period that still exists or is done

Full Definition of SURVIVAL

1

a :  the act or fact of living or continuing longer than another person or thing

 

b :  the continuation of life or existence <problems of survivalin arctic conditions>

2
:  one that survives
 
“Before you give up, think about the reasons that you held onto for so long.”
 
I wrote a poem for survivors awhile back, my brother-in- law gave me a little black binder that had a strap on it..perfect for my poems when they come to me. I can be awaken in the middle of the night and feel compelled to write poems or blog….I have it here for you…I read it to some people and the impact was more then I expected. It brought my husband to tears. I had no clue until that moment just what an impact I had on people and how my story affected others lives, in giving them hope, and encouragement…by sharing in my story and pain it helps to bring the reality that we are not alone in this fight! 
 
SURVIVOR


Like a message in a bottle

the sands of time dont sway

just as the innocent by stander

is much like a DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIM

and the heavy price thats paid

SURVIVE.

Isolation, loneliness and fear fed

into the raging demons that plague our lives even in dreamscaped heads

SURVIVE.

Fear that consumes us and our

thoughts weigh heavily on our grief stricken hearts

for the fear of rejection and this being our one last shot.

SURVIVE.

The fierce fire that burned within

snuffed out by abuse over so many years

constant reminders of words like sharp pointed daggers

thrust into our heads.

SURVIVED.

Rejected by love, affected by pain covered disgracefully on bodies

in greys, blues, and greens, all done in vain.

SURVIVED.

Promises unkept and rules all broken

bidding goodbye to a normal life, trapped into another world unspoken.

SURVIVED.

The only touch was pain

regrets with no gain

living a secret life of nothing but shame.

SURVIVED.

Courage to us for seeking the light

For bright futures and doing whats right

SURVIVED.

We will not back down and say its ok

For you were in the wrong, its you fault, you pay!

SURVIVOR.

You took it all you ruined our life

Like sharp blades of glass Karma cuts deep like a knife

SURVIVOR.

We’ve reclaimed our worth, sold disgrace and rejection

It’s not our disease, its your infection

SURVIVOR.

We are free from your bonds, no more burdens to carry

Hang on tight to life, its gonna get scary

SURVIVOR.

Loneliness and Shame will follow you to the end

I wish on you pain, sorrow,and isolation with no friends!

SURVIVOR.

Moving on straight ahead

leaving that circle

Surviving the death of my soul being reborn to another…… enough said!

SURVIVED.

Freedom to choose, to lead on my own

to stand on two feet and do it alone

I left it all behind never to look back

Now I can say my lifes on track!

IM A SURVIVOR!


 

 Image

Survival is NOT how you end an experience, but how you live through an experience.
It means not being a victim of circumstance, but taking hold of the experience, the circumstance, and turning it into an achievement!”
 
 
Don’t let others in your life influence you to be, do, or become that which you despise most. You have made it this far. You were born to survive and have been a survivor from the moment you took your first breath! Search deep within yourself and you will find that you have possessed the strength and courage to do what you need to do! You have gotten this far, and its been a fight, but in the end its worth every step, every tear and the reward is your freedom! Sometimes we need a little reminder that you still have it in you!
 
“You can take the dog out of the fight, but you cant take the fight out of the dog!”
Be that dog…use your animal instincts to fight and survive! 
 
“Change is difficult, but often is essential to survival!”
 
Peace & Love to you all….May your life be filled with balance & harmony, and may your troubled souls find calmed waters and seas! Blessings to you on this journey, and may you ALWAYS know…..you are NEVER alone! 
 


Leave a comment

The Fundamentals of Baggage Claim

Image

What’s in your wallet? Or purse? No. Not the Capital One Commercial question.

What are you carrying around with you? If you were to dump out the contents of your purse of wallet, what would you find? Are all the items worth keeping? Do they have uses, or have you gotten so comfortable with carrying them unnecessarily around, that you have simply forgotten that they are merely there? Is it possible that you hold on to those items that just in the chance you “might” need it? Do you struggle to let them go?

The big question you find yourself asking is;

” Why am I still holding onto and carrying these items?”

(One account)

Beaten,battered, and bruised, cowering on the bedroom floor barricaded in with a nightstand and my feet planted as hard as I could. I gripped my two small children in terror. Fear pulsing in my veins, shaken and trembling. I sat listening to the police invade my home destroying it and its contents, searching no doubt for the bastard that had just beaten me in front of my children. His children. We were all huddled together, I nothing more then a mere child of just 18 at the time with my 2 small kids. Afraid,and confused. They brought the dogs this time. He had more warrants and this time, he was hiding like the coward that he was, trying to tuck himself into the space underneath the stairs. They would get him…and they did!! They let the dogs do the hard work this time…sniffing him like the looser he was! I was so angry and yet petrified at the same time. Time seemed to change in an instant. His mood always did when he was coming down off a high, and/or alcohol. It was the norm for him to go to work on a Friday and that would be the last time I would see him  most times, until Monday morning when the phone would ring…and it would be his boss looking for him again no doubt. He always got paid on a Friday, and most times, he got a motel room, boozed it up, and got high all weekend, coming home broke and pissed off. He always took it out on me. They got him cuffed now, taking him outside. I locked the bedroom door,  kids safely inside, and followed the police outside. He was screaming at me, cursing me and my name. Making threats and at this point the female officer maced him.  God that felt good to see!  She told him that was enough. I had bruises, was terrified. I was embarrassed, and ashamed. For some reason, I was drawn to him like a moth to a light. His voice would bring me to my knees and I would once again be weak. Little did I know, that day wouldn’t be the last. In fact, I would suffer a great many more times and to various degrees,until one day, I met my night and shining armor. (Thats another story, for another day)

How many more times would I suffer?

What was I carrying around with me of any value? Was it benefiting me at all?

Why couldn’t I let it go? Was it worth keeping? What power had he have on me?

“The time has come to lay that baggage down and leave behind all the struggling and striving. You can be set free as you journey forward into a balanced healthy and rewarding future.” – Sue Augustine

 

The problem with most of us is that we are carrying around some form of items that we are attached to unnecessarily. Items that have no use and we arent benefiting from. I held onto these various accounts for most of my life.Taking out the contents and hurting the ones i loved with them. It wasnt their faults…I just didnt know how or what I was doing by NOT letting go of these items that were dragging me and my relationships with everyone down.It was affecting me and my life in many aspects and putting up barriers from me living my life the way it should be lived. I wasnt the only one suffering…others around me suffered…and it was unnecessary. To what cost would I hold onto these things and not let them go? it took someone to show me, to tell me, to point it out. I realized then, the pain I was causing, and the people it affected so deeply. Even years after they had been long and gone. They were deep seated issues sure. Yes, took me sometime to get a handle on them but, what about the people that cant get that handle on them? This I think is a toughie. Most of us carry with us burdens, scars, bruises, and the not so loved….emotional baggage, some not even our own to bear.  We go through life broken, alone, and afraid. Much like the purse or wallet, learning how and when to dump them out and clean it up is a huge task. First you must open the purse or wallet. Dig out whatever item it is thats bothering you and throw it out without looking back! For some, they have no idea what particular item is bugging them until often times its right under their nose.Others have a difficult times wanting to let go. They are attached to articles or items that have no monetary or significant value, but more a personal,emotional attachment, or  even memory. Maybe for fear of forgetting? They fear that if the items is let go, they will be forced to move on and face the fact that they have to deal with whatever they are avoiding in the first place.   Grudges are an offender as well. Lifes just to short to hold onto them, getting sucked into that negativity……learn to let go!!!Was the item a good or bad connection? That in itself may have something to do with it? If it was bad, some find it easier to let it go. Others use it to gain strength while others focus on it, and its power engulfs them. It destroys them. Some just struggle period. There is no right or wrong in dumping out your purse or wallet. Honestly, its just a metaphor, but by now, Im sure you have gotten the picture.

Not just pertaining to items in your purse, but things that you carry with you everyday. Are they worth all the baggage and weight? Arent you tired of carrying them  and the weight around? Nows as good as time as ever to start the cleaning and let the baggage go. Leave it for the rightful owner. Unpack, and put the luggage way. Enjoy the freedoms of not having to be weighed down and let others feel that same pressure being released from you! Lifes to short to carry with you all the emotional and whatever else baggage you carry!

“There’s a luggage limit to every passenger on a flight. The same rules apply to your life. You must eliminate some baggage before you can fly.”  – Rosalind Johnson  

Let those things that bind you go!

Toss out the idea that you “need” to hold on to it just case!

In the end its luggage, its meant to be dropped off…cleaned out, any leftovers thrown out, then safely stored away for someone else to use! You dont have to keep it. Its baggage. If it doesnt belong to you, find its owner, and let them have it.