” Survival is not so much about the body, but rather it is about the triumph of the human spirit!”
Its important for me to say to you that this next brief short story doesn’t in any way reflect on my beliefs. I’m not associated with any racist group, and am not racist myself. The story I’m telling here is at it happened in the words that were said. It not intended to mislead you into thinking I’m a racist bigot or offend or cast ill will towards any other race. This is my story, and how I witnessed it.
“He” was a racist bigot, always had been. Saying things to me like” man, you got them big nigger lips dont ya?” or “God Damn your ugly!” “I hope your not hangin around those nigger kids.” ” You know Im not taking you to the dance, especially if your going with any of those nigger kids!” “why dont you come over here and suck my dick with those nigger lips of yours?”
Ok, thats about all I can write. Makes me sick and I wanna vomit!
I had a few best friends in my school years…some WERE black. I had to endure comments and actions like that my whole life…and to this day as far as I know “he” is still like that. “He” obviously was narrowed minded and “his” views and beliefs didn’t rub off on me. In fact, spite “him”, I befriended many more people like the ones I had growing up. I didn’t see anything wrong with it. I guess I didn’t see colors like “he” did. Guess I was color blind! I had no clue what the issue was. How immoral and illogical was “he” for not even knowing that as a Italian man, “his” nationality originated from Sicily, which if you do the research people were black. I loved telling “him” that! Boy, did “he” get pissed off when I told “him” that the very people “he” didn’t like was in “his” blood and that it was “his” ancestors! Hilarious!!! Screw the bastard!! Funny, my mother didn’t seem to mind. In fact, the same sex toys “he” chased me around with and tried to scare me with were black! Did that mean “he” was using a “black” toy on my mother and yet, “he” was prejudice? Ironic? Yes. I think so! It was this type of behavior and role model that I had in my home growing up until I left at the ripe age of about 12 or 13. I decided that whatever fate had in store for me on the outside world was a much better chance than sticking around this “HELL HOLE””” called home! I would just have to take my chances! Abusive situations, mind fucking, and emotional roller coasters…ups, and downs…I couldn’t keep up with it! I knew it was up to me to survive. Survive I did! I had gotten this far on my own….being out in the harsh environment in the middle of Winter with no clothes or coat….well, like I said, I’d would sooner take my chances then to stay another night at that Wack house, rotting from the inside out! I hated the feeling that I didn’t belong and was invisible until someone wanted something from me! I didnt have much incentive in that part of my life. I was alone, and depressed. I had few friends…I mean REAL friends.
From the beginning of time man and animal alike have been born with animal like instincts. They have been genetically bred into this machine…..to fight to stay alive…..this animal like instinct we call “SURVIVAL”
noun, often attributive \sər-ˈvī-vəl\
: the state or fact of continuing to live or exist especially in spite of difficult conditions
Full Definition of SURVIVAL
b : the continuation of life or existence <problems of survivalin arctic conditions>
Like a message in a bottle
the sands of time dont sway
just as the innocent by stander
is much like a DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIM
and the heavy price thats paid
Isolation, loneliness and fear fed
into the raging demons that plague our lives even in dreamscaped heads
Fear that consumes us and our
thoughts weigh heavily on our grief stricken hearts
for the fear of rejection and this being our one last shot.
The fierce fire that burned within
snuffed out by abuse over so many years
constant reminders of words like sharp pointed daggers
thrust into our heads.
Rejected by love, affected by pain covered disgracefully on bodies
in greys, blues, and greens, all done in vain.
Promises unkept and rules all broken
bidding goodbye to a normal life, trapped into another world unspoken.
The only touch was pain
regrets with no gain
living a secret life of nothing but shame.
Courage to us for seeking the light
For bright futures and doing whats right
We will not back down and say its ok
For you were in the wrong, its you fault, you pay!
You took it all you ruined our life
Like sharp blades of glass Karma cuts deep like a knife
We’ve reclaimed our worth, sold disgrace and rejection
It’s not our disease, its your infection
We are free from your bonds, no more burdens to carry
Hang on tight to life, its gonna get scary
Loneliness and Shame will follow you to the end
I wish on you pain, sorrow,and isolation with no friends!
Moving on straight ahead
leaving that circle
Surviving the death of my soul being reborn to another…… enough said!
Freedom to choose, to lead on my own
to stand on two feet and do it alone
I left it all behind never to look back
Now I can say my lifes on track!
IM A SURVIVOR!