First Steps

Exploring the world through caring thoughts, the freedoms of guilt free emotions, and looking at the world through the eyes of someone elses perspective seeking to enhance and set free your soul by opening your heart and mind

Every Rose has its thorn……

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I know most people have heard the ever not forgotten song….I think for me it was the one sang by Brett Micheals…Lead singer of Poison. Im of course using this as an example. We all….EVERY last one of us have deep seated issues. Some of us dont wear it out on our sleeves…but we all have pet-peeves too. For me …one of my thorns is weight. Something I have struggled with since I had my last child. ALMOST 21YRS AGO……geezzzz……ok, ok, so its been awhile. My scale hates me. Poor thing is probably saying “enough already!” My weight and fighting with this extra skin fluff has been brought to my attention by my every lasting mother. Now, as you all know she is deceased….hence the feel of surging energy to be able to talk about these things now…..anyways, even when my body was PERFECT she still put me down…still brought up my faults. Very verbally,physically, and psychologically abusive. I never really accepted who I am and that there was always room for improvement. I didnt just accept that my body was ok….I had to keep trying all the latest diet trends…and starvation diets that came to mind or that was being used in Hollywood by the Stars…I soon became to realize that it wasnt just my weight…it was the abuse. I never accepted me because I never felt accepted. Weight was just a side affect from it. I had poor self esteem right out the door…I was just screwed up from the beginning. I tease my youngest son….and tell him that my body was a temple…then I had him…now it looks more like a recycle center or junk yard. That thorn has been in my side for decades…and finally this morning with hard work and changing my eating habits….viewing life differently…200lbs is a number of the past! I have finally reached 198.5!!!! Wooo-hooo! You say …” yeah , but  Gwen….thats only 1.5 lbs from 200….” I say to you….oh yee…of little faith….google what a lb of fat looks like….add up all the little lbs you have lost and BOOM….you got yourself some significant weight loss! I was when I started this journey originally 275! then about 4yrs ago….I lost weight to 189. I was at my best friends house and my husband and I were so busy hanging out with them one day I stopped and got on the dreaded scale…..there it was…I couldnt believe y eyes. Then, i gained back weight to 217….lost 10…gained back 5….lost that…now here I am….but I never could get  down again to that weight! I am predetermined to get past 189 and stay there!!! Food choices and genes also have a lot to do with it. Hereditary genes are often a factor…but with education, hard work, and lots of encouraging support anyone can do what they want. Even if they have a mother that was like mine. You dont have to go a lifetime hearing those voices telling you that your fat…have big legs….its time for me to feel sexy, look sexy, and I want EVERYONE to know it! These thorns have been in my side for long enough. I contemplated writing about this. Its a touchy subject….but I wanted to share my thoughts on it…and some pictures I thought would compliment the story I wrote. Stay the course…keep your heading….do the research….I always say to my friends…..” with all the research thats out there…RESEARCH, RESEARCH, RESEARCH!” Find your nitch and go with it. Be strong. hang in…there are bumps in the road…but at the end of the day…dontlet those damn thorns ruin your life what ever or where ever they may be! There ONLY thorns…..eventually, they will dry up, die, and fall off! You just have to out grow them!!!!

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